30 Song Challenge

I was tagged by the wonderful Lalaithiel to do the 30 Song Challenge.  (Definitely go check out her blog, it’s fantastic!)  Thank you for tagging me! 😀

The Rules:
-Thank the person who tagged you
-Answer the questions
-Tag five other people

1.  Your favorite song
Ugh, how am I supposed to pick my favorite song??  I guess I’ll just say that at the moment, my two favorites are New Year’s Eve by MO and How I Want Ya by Hudson Thames

2. Your least favorite song
Haha, I have a lot of them…I guess I’ll just say any generic, bland/inappropriate song.

3. A song that makes you happy
Be My Forever by Christina Perri ft. Ed Sheeran

4. A song that makes you sad
Bumper Cars by Alex & Sierra

5. A song that reminds you of someone
I See Fire by Ed Sheeran

6. A song that reminds you of somewhere
The Last Goodbye by Billy Boyd

7. A song that reminds you of a certain event
Runaway (U & I) by Galantis

8. A song that you know all the words to
Um, pretty much almost all the songs I listen to? XD

9. A song that you can dance to
I Luh God by Erica Campbell

10. A song that makes you fall asleep
Hmm…I guess I would say Photograph by Ed Sheeran.  It wouldn’t make me fall asleep out of boredom or anything, but because it’s so peaceful and calming.

11. A song from your favorite band
Roots by Imagine Dragons!!  Definitely my favorite of theirs at the moment.  Go listen to it!!

12. A song from a band you hate
Umm…can’t think of anything.  I don’t listen to music from bands I hate, so I don’t really have one.

13. A song that’s a guilty pleasure
Anything TS.  (If you love her sorry (well not really) haha)

14. A song that no one would expect you to love
Hmm…I guess that I like to listen to a lot of Christian rap?  I love Lecrae and his music.

15. A song that describes you
Umm…my mind is drawing a blank.  I guess I’ll say Ribs by Lorde.

16. A song that you used to love but now hate
Pretty much any song I used to listen to on repeat, but now am sick of.

17. A song that you hear often on the radio
Pretty much an overplayed pop/Christian song.

18. A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Roots, Gold…more of Imagine Dragons’s music.  Please?

19. A song from your favorite album
Ah, so many!  Polaroid by Imagine Dragons, and Still that Girl by Britt Nicole

20. A song that you listen to when you’re angry
King of Anything by Sara Bareilles and anything Lecrae.

21. A song that you listen to when you’re happy
War Paint (Young Bombs Remix) by Fletcher

22. A song that you listen to when you’re sad
The Sun is Rising by Britt Nicole

23. A song that you want to play at your wedding
Set Me on Fire by Bella Ferraro and Warriors by Imagine Dragons just because, you know, that’d be cool.

24. A song that you want to play at your funeral
Anything Debussy

25. A song that makes you laugh
Sorry by Justin Beiber.  Haha sorry.

26. A song that you can play on an instrument
There’s a lot, but one of my favorites is The Happy Farmer by Schuman

27. A song you wish you could play
I really wanna learn some of Debussy!  I also REALLY want to learn how to play I see Fire by Ed Sheeran

28. A song in a foreign language that you like
Papoutai by Stromae

29. A song from your childhood
So many…I can’t really think of one though.

30. Your favorite song at this time last year
Haha, I have no idea…

Well, that was it!
Now on to the nominations…(sorry if you’ve been nominated already!)

Misty
castlesandpens13
musingpenfeme
Allie
madelinejrose

Thanks for reading! 🙂  Do you like any of these songs?  (Or share my love for Imagine Dragons haha?)

~B

 

 

Staying in the present

So I am the kind of person to be stuck in the past and obsess over the future.  I try not to, but it just happens.  It’s been getting better, but still, my anxiety has started shifting a lot to the future recently.
I’ve been thinking about stuff like college, moving out, driving, etc.  I mean, it’s not even the thought of “I don’t know what to do with my future” that gives me anxiety.  I know I want to go to college, and know what I want to do, but the thought of the future just…scares me.  I don’t really know where I want to go to college at all.  People will ask me the question, “So, where do you want to go??”  And I don’t know.  But honestly I don’t see that as a problem, because I still have time to figure it out.
And recently I started driving, and so far it’s been going pretty good.  When I first started, I had some MAJOR anxiety.  The thought of being on the road and possibly getting in a crash or getting lost really freaked me out.  But I’m becoming more comfortable with it, so that’s good.
But the thought of growing up and having to do stuff for myself just scares me.  Don’t get me wrong, I want to do stuff for myself, and I like being independent.  But it just makes me anxious in a way I can’t explain.  I guess what is most scary about the future is it being so unpredictable.  And I like predictable.
It’s frustrating because I take baby steps for most things in life because of my anxiety.  Sometimes I feel like I’m a step behind everyone else.  Things that aren’t that big of a deal for most people are the kind of things that keep me up at night, and cause me to majorly stress.  And the things that make most people anxious give me the same effect six times more.
And I know the prospect of future is a common fear for most people, but still.
I worry about next year.  I worry about next week.  I worry about 10 years from now.  My mind won’t shut off.
So I’ve been trying to figure out how to balance myself somewhere in the middle.  Not be stuck in the past, and not to obsess over the future, but live in the now.  Take each day a day at a time, and let the future unfold.
That will definitely be something that will take a while for me to master though.  So for now, I’m just trying to deal with everything as best as I can, day by day.

If you can relate somewhat, what are some ways that keep you grounded in the present?  I would love to hear.

The Music Tag

So I know I have been doing tags like crazy recently, and I’ve been meaning to post other stuff, but I really wanted to take part in this.  I was tagged by Kate over at https://plethoricthoughts.wordpress.com/ to do the Music Tag.  This looks super fun so thank you, Kate! 🙂

      The rules:

  • Write ten songs that come on shuffle (no skipping).
  • Write your favorite lyric from each song.
  • Tag some people

 

  1. Watercolors by Machineheart- On a fast train like a runaway, I escape from a world of black and white to technicolors
  2. Running with the wolves by Aurora- Go row the boat to safer grounds, but don’t you know we’re stronger now
  3. Castle by Halsey- If you wanna break these walls down you’re gonna get bruised
  4. Beautiful lights by Cailee Rae- We’re going up up up tonight, you’re burning across the sky cause you shine so bright
  5. Rose Gold by Pentatonix- Like a myth the stories of our lives, couldn’t fit in only black and white
  6. Hello by Adele- I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
  7. Waka waka by Shakira- You’re a good soldier choosing your battles, pick yourself up dust yourself off get back in the saddle
    (yes, I love this song xD)
  8. La la latch by Pentatonix- If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
  9. Gold by Imagine Dragons- Only at first did it have it’s appeal, but now you can’t tell the false from the real
  10. Renegades by X Ambassadors- Long live the pioneers, rebels and mutineers, go forth and have no fear

 

As for tagging, I’m going to make this an open tag.  If you want to do it, go right ahead!  You can say I tagged you. 🙂

Well, that was it!  Does anybody listen to/like any of these songs? 🙂

 

~B

 

Tech difficulties??

So I’ve been trying to set a header image for my blog for quite a while now, but every time I try, the header is ALWAYS blurry/bad quality.  I’ve tried everything, from using the pixels they suggest, to searching on the internet how to set a clear header, but nothing helps.  (The only header that is not blurry is the suggested one my theme comes with.)

Does anybody have any tips for this??  If you do, thank you so much!

~B

Sunshine blogger award

 

Hello all,

I’ve been nominated by for yet another award.  (The sunshine blogger award.)  Thanks Victoria! 😀  Everybody who has not already needs to check her out, because she has an amazing blog.  Alright, let’s get into it.

Basically, the rules are to give fourteen facts about myself (whichhh is not my favorite part) and tag fourteen people for the award (but most likely I won’t get to fourteen people..)

The facts:
1.  Ummm….what is there to know about me anyway?
2.  I’m trying to rack my brain to come up with something interesting…
3.  I have a terrible sense of time.
4.  I have a stamp collection.
5.  I am not afraid of spiders, or really any specific animal, except for one.  And that is spider crickets, which I hate more than anything in the world.
6.  Bernie is my nickname.
7.  I was born in England.
8.  Pinterest is my favorite thing of all time.
9.  I love thrift stores.
10. I absolutely love Imagine Dragons.
11.  I have never watched any of the Despicable Me movies.
12.  I lovveee rollercoasters.  Seriously, I will ride the tallest, steepest one.
13.  This is almost over.
14.  And it ended.

Well, that wasn’t so bad.  Now on to the nominees.

I nominate:

Allie
geelinlovesconan

 

~B

 

 

Infinity Dreams Blog Award

So I was nominated by Allie for the Infinity Dreams Blog Award!  Thank you Allie! 🙂

The rules:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you
2. Tell us 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the questions that were set for you to answer.
4. Nominate 11 bloggers and set questions for them.

(welp, here I go trying to come up with 11 facts about myself…)

  1. I have a very wide taste in movies.  My favorite movies of all time include both Disney and Marvel.
  2. I have a really weird sense of humor.
  3. I do online schooling.
  4. I’m Catholic.
  5. I absolutely love sour foods.  I love lemons, and will eat just about any sour candy and dessert.  I love sour lemonade, and hate sickly sweet lemonade and sweet pickles with a burning passion.
  6. I play the violin.
  7. I absolutely love psychology, and want to be a psychologist/counselor.
  8. I’m a huge procrastinator.
  9. I’m a night owl.
  10. I sing all the time even though I can’t sing.
  11. I’m 5’4.

 

The questions from Allie:

What book (or movie) character embodies your personality?
Hmm…probably Jane from Jane Eyre.

Who/what inspired your love for writing?
Definitely reading.  I loved reading when I was younger, and loved stories, so writing just naturally came from that.

If you could interview one person from the past, present or future, who would you interview and why?
Probably Mary Magdalene.  I would want to see what is was like to be one of Jesus’s disciples, and to be close to Him throughout his life and death.

What’s your most played song right now?
Either Trndsttr (Lucian Remix) or Gold by Kiiara.

What’s your favorite season and why?
I’m gonna be super cliché here and say fall. 😛  I love it’s weather, scenery, fashion, etc.

What MBTI personality type are you?
INFJ, which is pretty obvious if you read my blog. XD

What’s your dream job?  What was your dream job when you were 5?  Why has or hasn’t it changed?
My dream job is to do psychology (along with writing.)  I don’t remember my dream job when I was five…but I do remember my first ever dream job was to be a professional cyclist XD (I have no idea why.)

Who is the blogger you read most?  (Or top 5-10.)
I’m not sure, since I read a lot of bloggers.

If you could only have 15 books for the next year, what books would you choose?
Hmm…excluding school books??
The Bible, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Jane Eyre, The Screwtape Letters, The Man who was Thursday, The Night Circus, The Giver Quartet books, The Ruby Red Trilogy, The Homelanders Series, and The Eye of the Minds.

What youtube channels are you enjoying right now?
CurlyPenny, Cicily Boone, Studio C, Blimey Cow, Cimorelli, Michelle Reed, emmacatherine09, LizzieLovesBooks, and CassJayTuck.

ha…I watch a lot of youtube.
(Oh and Pentatonix!  How could I forget them?!)

 

And I’m not gonna create questions and nominate anyone, because pretty much everyone I know has already done this.  Sorry!

 

~B

 

 

 

 

Facade

We veil
what lives within our pulsing heart
and web of veins
and ceiling
of bones
through captivating paintings
of smiles
tears
and flurries of laughter.
We are skilled artisans indeed;
excelling in our craft
of play pretend.
Yes
a glimpse has become a rare occurrence;
the sighting into the garden of one’s soul.
A key
only this can assure an unforbidden entrance.
But the key  is hidden
under brush,
or tucked between petal and thorn,
who may know.
Our gardens are surrounded-
or rather caged-
by lofty gate and walls.
Indeed we believe
we are master deceivers.
We continue on as if all is flowers,
when there is a storm brewing in our heads.
We proudly wear our masks
beautiful hideous masks
upon beautiful painted faces.
So it seems
we will never come to realize
that the only one fooled by our exhibit of art
is our reflections.

Strangers, friends, lovers

A poem I put together today. 

 

My fingers hurt
but my head is clear.
Pouring out one’s heart on a page
is no easy thing to do.
Yet it has become my lifeline;
without it I would forget how to breathe.
In, out, in out,
has become the battle cry of my heart.
It demands pain, it demands toil,
yet without it I am nothing.
How is it done, you ask?
There has never been a task so simple
yet complex.
I empty my head
and the thoughts tumble out.
I am one with the universe when I pen my thoughts,
it’s secrets are eased
from it’s mouth of steel.
I know this is my destiny;
to be alone with my words.
For they never stray from my side,
while my doorstep is left cold
from the ghosts of my faded friends.
These are my strangers, friends,
lovers.
My villain, my knight in shining armor.
My hero, my best friend.
For when these strangers, friends
and lovers  arrive
they have a whispered oath
never to abandon my side.

Random: I don’t know how to hold a pencil

So something new has popped up in my life, and that something is that I am learning how to hold a pencil.
Basically, when I was first learning to hold a pencil as a child, I didn’t like the way I was taught to hold it.  So I just held it the way it felt comfortable for me, and didn’t think anything of it.
The way I hold a pencil is basically bunching up my hand around it.  Doing it this way causes it to rub against my ring finger, so I have had a big bump on my right ring finger since I was little.
Recently, I realized it was probably best to learn how to hold a pencil the right way, after so many years of doing it wrong.  So I googled it today, and have been practicing.  It’s pretty strange and uncomfortable, but I’m hoping to get better at it over time.
It’s just funny to me that I love writing so much, yet don’t even know how to hold a pencil the right way. XD

Is there a chance anyone else has experienced this??

10:07 reminder

I am here to tell you…

 

that you are enough.  That you are more than enough.  That you could not be more enough, even if you tried.  No matter how much makeup you put on your face.  No matter the type of clothes you wear.  No matter the number on the scale.  No matter the amount of friends you have.  No matter how many people in your life care for you or not.  No matter the size of your social media following.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I am also here to tell you…

that you are beautiful.  Yes, YOU.
We’ve all heard it before.  It’s an overused saying.  But do you really believe it, deep down to your core?  Do you believe that you are a work of art, full of worth and value?  Because you are.
No matter what.
No matter your insecurities.  Whether they be physical-your hair, your weight, your height, your eyes-or non physical-your personality, who you are, your flaws, your mistakes.

You are beautiful whether people tell you or not.  You are beautiful whether you live in a big house with a loving family, or struggle financially with a broken home.  You are beautiful whether you wear makeup or not.  You are beautiful whether you always manage to look put together, or are convinced you always look like a trainwreck.

Yes, you’ve been hurt before.  We all have.
Everyone has insecurities.  Everyone has secrets.  Everyone has dark places within them that they’d like to hide from.  Everyone has been mistreated, hurt, and used.  Or maybe not-maybe the problem is that too little has happened.  Maybe you’ve had an absence-an absence of love, an absence of acceptance, an absence of being wanted.
Everyone is broken.  Everyone is damaged.  Everyone has experienced pain and struggle.  Everyone has reached a point where they thought they could no longer continue battling their demons.
And that’s the unfortunate part about the world.  Because you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be treated with respect, you deserve to be accepted, you deserve to be wanted, and you deserve to have peace.  You deserve to be happy, deep down to your core.

So don’t believe the lies of the world telling you that you aren’t good enough.  They are countless-the media, society, magazines, social media.  Telling you to lose a little more weight.  To wear these clothes and look that way to be happy and liked by others.  To change who you are; be less of this, and more of that.

Don’t believe the lies of others.  There will be many people in your life who will try to tear you down, to give you a piece of the pain they have carried around for too long.   Steer clear of these people.  They are hurting, just like you.  But that doesn’t validate them hurting and breaking others apart.

And most importantly-don’t believe the lies you feed yourself.  Your thoughts, your words; they can be incredibly powerful for good, but also destructive.  Uplift yourself, strive to be positive.  If you can listen so intently to your negative thoughts, why do you shut out the positive ones?

So never forgot: you are enough, you are worthy, you are beautiful.  You have so much to offer to the world.  You are deeply loved.  You are deeply wanted.

Prove the world and yourself wrong by marching ahead.