I want to be honest

First off, I apologize for not posting in a such long time.  I’m back now, though! 🙂

I’ve recently realized that there is something I need to work on, and that is:
I consider myself a fairly honest person.  The part of honesty that I’m not very good at, though, is saying what I want to say.
I tend to always nod my head and agree with what someone is telling me, even if I disagree.  I’ll laugh at jokes that I don’t find funny.
And I don’t consider myself a people pleaser.  I tend to be very stubborn, and not listen to what others have to say.  (Something I’m trying to work on!)  But I often find myself so in tune with other’s thoughts and feelings, that I hate the thought of not responding to it in a positive way.  I hate the thought of hurting someone’s else’s feelings by not laughing at their jokes or agreeing with them on a certain topic, or not responding enthusiastically to what they have to say.
But I want to be honest.  I want to say what I want to say.  If I disagree with someone and feel the need to say something about it, I want to be able to respectfully disagree and state what I think.  I want to respond and interact with people in a natural way, not in a way that I feel they want me to be.
I really admire honest people, even those who can be bluntly honest.  (Which I guess isn’t always a great thing all the time, though.)
And I don’t know what it is, because like I said, I’m not a people pleaser.  Maybe I would rather just agree and not create conflict with people, to be better liked.  Maybe I don’t want to be shot down for what I have to say, or rejected for it.  Whatever it is, I want to work on it.

So can you relate?  Do you have trouble being honest with people?


30 thoughts on “I want to be honest

    1. I know it has to be worth it! Good luck on it. 🙂 It’s a great feeling to be able to speak your mind without worrying what others might think. (Something I don’t experience often, because like I said, I’m working on it. 😛 )

      Liked by 1 person

  1. “Maybe I would rather just agree and not create conflict with people…”

    That’s one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that perhaps you are simply understanding of people and their own perspectives and you want to show them this understanding that you possess. I agree with you that it’s important to retain your own point of view, but remember to choose your battles wisely when expressing your point of view. Going back to what you said, if disagreeing with someone is going to create unneeded conflict and stress (on both of you), then would it be worth the honesty you wish to display? Personally, I don’t feel like that’s something you need to work on, but something to consider.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hmm these are interesting points! I do agree with what you say about unneeded conflict and stress. It’s not so much the big issues that I feel the need to be honest about, but small ones. I am a super understanding person, so I definitely agree with what you were saying about feeling the need to show people my understanding! I just need to work on saying what I really want to say, not agreeing with every single thing someone else is saying, which is what I tend to do.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate so much to this! I read on your about page that you are an INFJ. I am also an INFJ. I feel like we have so much in common. It’s so awesome to find another INFJ because we’re so rare (:

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    1. Ah that’s awesome! We probably do, haha! 🙂 I’ve actually met a lot more INFJ’s here on wordpress than I thought there would be. It’s really nice, because I don’t really know any INFJ in real life!

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      1. Yeah, that’s surprising! But so cool. I know only one INFJ in real life, and it’s really awesome because we understand each other so well. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog when I get time (:

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  3. Great post. Yes, same thoughts here. I’m very cautious too, until I know someone pretty well. But even then when I do disagree, even mildly, it ends up bad. People I tend to encounter don’t have the same need I do, to respond in a respectful way or the first thought in my head is to support them or empathize with their point of view. Instead, they have to be right and better. I end up getting criticized or degraded in some way which isn’t very fun. So I just don’t say anything anymore.

    I too enjoy how many INFJs are here on wordpress… it is a relief to see many with similar thoughts and, or feelings…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I tend to be very cautious as well with people I don’t really know, and have also had experiences with people like those. Honestly, I think if someone is constantly trying to prove themselves better than you, and criticizing you all the time, I would reevaluate the relationship with them. It’s not fun at all to have negative people in your life. Once people like that were gone, I was a lot more happier. 🙂 And yes! It’s definitely a relief to find people so similar to you, because sometimes I think I’m just really crazy XD


  4. This is such a great post and I wish more people would talk about it; but perhaps that is the predicament with people like you and me -and everyone that commented- who feel this way. I’ll say I have struggled with this almost all my life, but I found myself toiling in my own troubles because of it. Once I stepped out and burst the bubble, there was no blowing it back up again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yes, that’s probably exactly the reason why! And I’d say I’m pretty much the same, only it’s something I’ve recently just realized. How did you get to that point? Because I’m trying to figure out how to step out, but am getting nowhere. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Honestly? Sadly enough, it was because I had come to a full realization that it was detrimental to my character. When I lifted the barrier, my creativity soared & I had never felt happier in my day to day life. The act of feeling like I had to worry about what’d I do or say was a veil I put there myself, and it inhibited me from being me. Wow, that was philisophical, lol. In all reality, it’s in my nature to care for others more; but I realized if I couldn’t care for myself, I couldn’t really care for others.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha that was philosophical!! That’s very true about putting it there yourself. And wow, that is true about not being able to care for others without caring for yourself. Sometimes I can get carried away by that, and tend to be more there for others than myself. Well, I applaud you then. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It definitely takes time! I started with the new year; and you also don’t need to throw away that feeling all together. It’s actually a great thing to care for others that much! You just can’t let it deter you from your own ways.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is something I have to work on daily… I hate not being totally up front and honest. But I’ve also found myself telling them what they want to hear because I have no idea what else to say… Can you please do any update on what you find helps you out with both of these things??? I would really enjoying reading and I’m sure I can’t be the only one. ^_^ Great post!!! Keep up the good work!!!!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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