Friendship.

One of my biggest wants has always been to have people to connect to in life.  However, this isn’t always the easiest when you are quiet, and not the best at forming relationships with people.
I like to surround myself with a fairly small amount of friends.  I’m careful.  I know the kind of people I want to spend my time with, and the kind I want to avoid.  To me that kind of thing is important, because the people you surround yourself by can have a big impact on you.  So why wouldn’t I want them to be the best?
Friendship is important.  It’s important to have people to connect to, people to laugh with, and people who understand you.
One of my flaws though, is expecting too much out of people.  I crave deepness in everything; especially in people.  I used to get discouraged when I would put a lot into a friendship, and the other person wouldn’t reciprocate.  It wasn’t that they weren’t interested in me, it was just that they weren’t interested in the level of friendship I hoped for.
It took a while for me to realize that I’m just that kind of person, and not everyone is like me.  I tend to put a lot into friendships, and really care about the other person and want to know them on a deep level.
I learned to accept that that’s not how most relationships work.  It doesn’t make it shallow or non-existent, like I used to think, (although they are plenty of those out there) it’s just that I have high expectations.  I have a couple of those kinds of close friendships, but the majority of them aren’t, and that’s ok.
I also used to wish all the time that I had more friends.  I would compare myself to those who had a lot of friends, and those who always seemed to be surrounded by a group of people.  But the lesson I have learnt is quantity over quality.  It’s so much better to just have a few true friends, then a ton of shallow friendships.
I’m learning to accept how I am, too.  I am slow to open up to people, and I crave meaningfulness in people and life.  I’m not perfect; I have my faults.  But I’m learning.  I have made some great friends this year, and hope I can make more in the years to come.

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Update

Hi all,

It feels so strange to be writing a post, because I feel like I haven’t been on wordpress in forever.
Basically, I didn’t post any of my poetry for NaPoWriMo for the last two weeks because I was crazy busy during that time.  I was participating in an activity at my friend’s church, and we were going to a competition for it.  We had been preparing for this competition for months, so the two weeks before performance I was super busy at practices.  When I finally caught up with the poetry, I figured there was no point in posting any of it, since NaPoWriMo had already finished.
So something poetry-related that happened at this competition was that I entered the poetry category, and advanced to the next stage of the competition!  (Nationals.) So that was super exciting. 😀
So anyway, that’s why I haven’t been on wordpress recently, just in case anyone was wondering.  I’m back though, and hope to be posting soon!
On that note, I would love it if any of you could leave some requests for what you would like me to post.  Musings/writings/other.  Feel free to leave your thoughts! 🙂

~B