New adventures…

Hi, all.
I have some news…I will be attending World Youth Day in Krakow, Poland.  If you don’t know what WYD is, it is a huge event for Catholics that happens every three years at different locations across the world.  This year, there will be about 2 million people attending.  (Yah-2 million!)  The group I am going with is also traveling throughout Europe as well as attending WYD.  So I will be gone for a month, starting July 22nd, and will be back August 22nd.
My friend marked our route on google maps:

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We’ll be traveling in Germany and Italy.  (And I’ll get to see Venice!!  It’s been my dream since forever to go.  I wrote a poem on it for NaPo because I love it so much, haha.)

I’m so thankful for this opportunity, and for God allowing it to happen. (I prayed a ton-prayer is really powerful people!)  I didn’t think I would be going.  I wasn’t originally planning on going, then signed up late and was put on the waiting list.  I found out two days ago, which is less than two weeks before the group leaves.
I’m excited, but also inwardly terrified.  My group will be doing a ton of walking, and we’ll mainly be sleeping in pilgrim houses, or whatever is available.  It’s nothing fancy at all.  Also the thought of a ten hour flight to get to Poland is also slightly terrifying.
I’d appreciate prayers, and I’d love to pray for you guys!  If you have any prayer requests for me, feel free to leave them down below that I can pray for you on the pilgrimage.
I won’t be able to get internet access at all, so I won’t be posting anything on my blog while I’m gone.  I’m going to miss interacting with you guys, and reading all your posts!
This won’t be my last post, though.  Before I leave, I really want to catch up on my tags.
I know I have been nominated for tags I have never gotten to, so PLEASE PLEASE tell me if you have nominated me for something!  Honestly I am just forgetful, and I want to know if there is something you tagged me in that I didn’t do.  I’ll try to get to it!

~B

 

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Forgiveness.

Sometimes you have to realize you're never going to win:

 

Learning to forgive is something very valuable.  One thing that I have learnt about forgiveness is that often, I have do so because I know it will be more beneficial to myself than the other person/persons.  Holding on to anger or bitterness will not better you as a person, or make you any happier.  So it’s important to learn to forgive, even if the offender is not sorry.
And forgiveness does not equal pardon.  I’ve heard so many people say, “I wish I could forgive so and so, but I don’t think what they did was right.”
Forgiveness is a decision to not hold resentment against another person.  Pardoning is  dismissing what a person has done.  You can be opposed to what a person has done to you, and know it wasn’t right, but still forgive them.  It doesn’t make what they did to you okay.  It means that you have decided to not hold anger or bitterness against them.  So forgiveness doesn’t even mean that this person should remain in your life.  (I’m talking for cases where this is necessary.)
Forgiveness is a choice, like many things in life.  You may not necessarily feel happy with that person, or feel joy or peace about them and the offense.  However, through forgiveness true peace can come.
I know some people may disagree with me, and say there are some people who should not be forgiven.  Forgiveness can be hard.  But for me, only through forgiveness have I been able to heal from the situation, and gain peace and freedom.  Because holding on to resentment is just going to drag me down.
I guess what helps me with this, and makes forgiveness easier for me, is my Christian faith.  Jesus died on the Cross for all our sins.  He forgave everyone.  The murderers, the thieves, the regular people, you and me.  He even forgave the people who killed Him.
Knowing that Jesus could forgive His killers, and knowing that he has forgiven me for every one of my sins puts it all in perspective for me.  How on earth could I not forgive others in return?  How can I expect forgiveness from God, when I refuse to do the same for others?
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it’s freeing.  I promise you, you will not look back and regret the choice to forgive.

 

Friendship.

One of my biggest wants has always been to have people to connect to in life.  However, this isn’t always the easiest when you are quiet, and not the best at forming relationships with people.
I like to surround myself with a fairly small amount of friends.  I’m careful.  I know the kind of people I want to spend my time with, and the kind I want to avoid.  To me that kind of thing is important, because the people you surround yourself by can have a big impact on you.  So why wouldn’t I want them to be the best?
Friendship is important.  It’s important to have people to connect to, people to laugh with, and people who understand you.
One of my flaws though, is expecting too much out of people.  I crave deepness in everything; especially in people.  I used to get discouraged when I would put a lot into a friendship, and the other person wouldn’t reciprocate.  It wasn’t that they weren’t interested in me, it was just that they weren’t interested in the level of friendship I hoped for.
It took a while for me to realize that I’m just that kind of person, and not everyone is like me.  I tend to put a lot into friendships, and really care about the other person and want to know them on a deep level.
I learned to accept that that’s not how most relationships work.  It doesn’t make it shallow or non-existent, like I used to think, (although they are plenty of those out there) it’s just that I have high expectations.  I have a couple of those kinds of close friendships, but the majority of them aren’t, and that’s ok.
I also used to wish all the time that I had more friends.  I would compare myself to those who had a lot of friends, and those who always seemed to be surrounded by a group of people.  But the lesson I have learnt is quantity over quality.  It’s so much better to just have a few true friends, then a ton of shallow friendships.
I’m learning to accept how I am, too.  I am slow to open up to people, and I crave meaningfulness in people and life.  I’m not perfect; I have my faults.  But I’m learning.  I have made some great friends this year, and hope I can make more in the years to come.

Update

Hi all,

It feels so strange to be writing a post, because I feel like I haven’t been on wordpress in forever.
Basically, I didn’t post any of my poetry for NaPoWriMo for the last two weeks because I was crazy busy during that time.  I was participating in an activity at my friend’s church, and we were going to a competition for it.  We had been preparing for this competition for months, so the two weeks before performance I was super busy at practices.  When I finally caught up with the poetry, I figured there was no point in posting any of it, since NaPoWriMo had already finished.
So something poetry-related that happened at this competition was that I entered the poetry category, and advanced to the next stage of the competition!  (Nationals.) So that was super exciting. 😀
So anyway, that’s why I haven’t been on wordpress recently, just in case anyone was wondering.  I’m back though, and hope to be posting soon!
On that note, I would love it if any of you could leave some requests for what you would like me to post.  Musings/writings/other.  Feel free to leave your thoughts! 🙂

~B

NaPoWriMo {Day 13}

Style: Lauranelle

Too lingering have I been on this road
imploring for an oasis of sorts
however, not all that glitters is gold

Parched tongue, parched mouth, parched soul in this here place
yet as I collapse to battered worn knees,
no azure drop will permit me to taste

Perhaps more arid stretches to defy
so I ascend, unsteady, to worn feet
yet candor does not speak lies-all is dry

So I precede to roam alongside dust
while defeat stalks me with iron talons
all is weary, nothing remains robust

Suddenly, the desert is morphed alive
sand snarling, thrashing, pondering quicksand
feet are clasped, arms are bound, no place to dive

Now the fiery orb tries to burn my skin
strives to alight this soul of mine alive,
as the sky is melting amidst the din

Then a silhouette shadows overhead
up I am hoisted, above where I fled
the stranger arrives, between the broken
To no oasis, but to the ocean

 

NaPoWriMo {Day 12}

Style: Cascade

Craving something only the heavens can brush
The here now cannot contain this soul
Take off the lens, my dear

I trod as if fashioned of dreams
Steps unable to kiss the earth
Craving something only the heavens can brush

Rigid handshakes with phantoms
Exchanged mock, wide-eyed smiles with ghosts
The here now cannot contain this soul

Then you appeared
Hues and tints and shades spilling on this white and black tiled world
Take off the lens, my dear

NaPoWriMo {Day 11}

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Style: Triolet

Wildfire

You sparked the blaze within
Embers tattooed across the waning sky
Scattered ash revealed only the places we had been
You sparked the blaze within
The pinprick of flame winked into existence, alighting my skin
It blossomed into a forest fire, devouring high
You sparked the blaze within
Embers tattooed across the waning sky

NaPoWriMo {Day 10}

So I was inspired by Grace to try out some book spine poetry.  It was fun choosing out the titles, but also hard because it requires a good amount of creativity.  If you’re doing NaPoWriMo I would recommend doing it!  It’s super fun.  🙂  (And if you’re not taking part in NaPoWriMo, do it as well!)

 

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The Giver;

Rainbow Valley

Deep Blue


Between Shades of Gray 


Black as Night


Let me explain…

“The Giver” is God.  The “Rainbow Valley”, “Deep Blue”, “Between Shades of Gray”, and “Black as Night” are all phases we go through in life.  “Rainbow Valley” is the time in life when we are carefree children, and see the world as a bright, happy place.  “Deep Blue” symbolizes adolescence and maturity.  “Between Shades of Gray” is the period of time in life when we are unsure of what is right and wrong anymore, and grapple to find the truth and what it is we believe in exactly.  And “Black as Night” is when we go through difficult and dark times.
God is there throughout it all, with us in every step and stage of our life.

Hope you enjoyed!

 

NaPoWriMo {Day 9}

So magnetized
was I to the stars, and to you,
it must have slipped this mind of mine
behind arms that embraced me
[and the universe, too.]
Moments
concealed behind the flash of smile
words
declared somewhere in the space between a murmur and bellow,
engraving a smile onto my face.
Words causing me to ponder,
to gaze upon the stars in a new light.
But then realization struck-
glass upon the table.
And now I see through eyes unclouded.
Fumbled intentions,
slipped between the crack of a too familiar smile
arms fallen to the side
uncurled smile
words vacant, worn out because of time.
It was hard slipping away
yet I had to,
in order to breathe.
And now you’re lost somewhere in the constellations
And I’m filling up the pages
with words of you.